I had a brilliant idea last night that turned out to be much less than (see #1 on the list). This inspired me to compile a list of all the horrible ideas I (or my friends) have had had in the past that seemed effing brilliant at the time. In compiling this list I came to the conclusion that, MAN I'VE DONE SOME STUPID SHIT, but I guess you've got to live and learn. So here it is the confessional list of some really, really bad ideas that seemed great at the time. I can not take all the credit however, some of these belong to my nearest and dearest:
1. Attempting to give yourself a Brazilian bikini wax (not as easy as it looks. Tip those waxers extra ladies)
2. Calling in sick from a casino (your boss can hear the background noise, and no, talking louder doesn't help drown it out)
3. Cheating on your boyfriend with his buddy's roommate (here's a shocker genius, you're going to get caught)
4. Attempting to have sex in a storage closet at a crowded bar (while this seems totally awesome. It's not when the bouncer walks in on you)
5. Attempting to leap-frog a parking meter when you're drunk on your birthday in front of cops (you fall, the cops notice)
6. Ashing your cigarette out the window on to a cop while your designated driver is trying to talk their way out of a ticket (they get mad)
7. Yelling "Kobe is a douche bag" during a playoff game at Staples (you get hit......even if it is true)
8. Tell your boss that he is being "completely ridiculous" (Bonus points if you're stupid enough to do in in front of colleagues)
9. Show up to work drunk and/or high. Shotgun beers in the handicap stall of the bathroom.
10. Beer bong a bottle of wine.
11. Attempt to light a fart on fire, instead singe your ass hair, and make sure to do this in front of a party full of people (I promise that one wasn't me)
12. Have sex in a tent surrounded by people you think are passed out. Unfortunately the guy's sister on the other side of the tent was not passed out.
13. Attempt the "Tour de Franzia" Teams of three attempt to finish a box of Franzia the fastest without puking (Believe it or not, that IS NOT a good idea)
14. Let your drunk roommates cut your hair (unless you wanted that mullet)
15. Date your boss (only to find out he's sleeping with half the waitresses in your restaurant)
So there it is, a list of some fine, fine moments. If you've got anything to contribute, I'd love to hear it!
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