Poppy C in 2007.....and I Thought I Was A Hot Mess

The Pop Culture scene in '07 was fantastic, and by "fantastic" I mean an exposed, embarrassing, sloppy drunk, va-jay jay flashing, hair extension wearing, sex tape filming, itchy, strung out train wreck. While this may seem like business as usual in La La Land, there really were some very important changes in the celeb-u-sphere from the beginning to the end of 2007. Many of these brief shifts in power might go unnoticed to the untrained eye. Fortunately my trained eyes are here to shed some light on the situation....literally.....like with laser beams. It'll blow your mind. Break it down now (wiki-wiki):

2007: Then and Now

Cutest Celebrity baby? Then: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (mad props to Violet Affleck coming in a close second) Now: Suri Cruise fo sho (Although I'm pretty sure shorty's had some work done).

Everyone's favorite Celebrity Crack-Head? Then: Pete Doherty (remember the video of him making his cat smoke crack? No. Seriously) Now: Amy Winehouse (the voice used to make up for the tooth gap and the rats nest, now she just looks like Mrs. Crabtree from SouthPark....with scabs....and track marks. Come to think of it Crabtree is effing Giselle Bunchen compared to this hot mess).

Embarrassing TV show I can't stop watching? Then: The Hills Now? Gossip Girl. It's the OC on the East Coast and I effing love it. Plus that one kid with the coked up dad is yummy, yummy man meat.

Biggest Douche bag on The Hills? Then: Spencer Now: Three way tie between Justin Bobby, the She-Pratt, and the Hills editing team (come on dudes, can't you at least try to make it look like reality? Even 12 year old girls with posters of Brody Jenner up in their bedrooms can see this shizz is not reality).

Dude on the other end of Pamela Anderson's divorce papers? Then: Kid Rock Now: Rick Soloman (You know, the dude who starred in the Paris Hilton sex tape and for some reason owned all that creepy night vision equipment with which to shoot it? No idea why that marriage didn't work out. Creepy McCreeperson)

Favorite Creepy Celebrity Hanger-On: Then: Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole's lawyer/publicist/baby daddy/pet troll Now: Osama Lutfi, the creepy dude who is constantly by Britney's side. So far we know very little about this new Osama on the scene other than he seems to share Britney's love of frappacinos, cruising around LA hot spots, and calling into Ryan Seacrest's morning show. Prediction: Osama and Britney get married in Vegas, New Years Eve '07. Mark my words. I'm like Miss Cleo and shizz.

Redonk-u-lous Tween sensation that I could care less about? Then: High School Musical Now: High School Musical 2 (Although all that biznass with the genius chick taking nudie pics of herself was good stuff. Haha straight-edge, Disney loving parents how did you explain that one to little Susie? And furthermore Daddy, how did you explain your new desktop background to Mommy?)

Uber-Hawt soccer import from across the pond with a body of sin who makes my mind go to very, very wrong places? Naughty, naughty, bad, bad places (ooh, I'm a bad girl. a very.....sorry. I got distracted) Then: David Beckham Now: David Beckham in tighty whities (See Emporio Armani ads. You're welcome)

Cheers 2007! The Champagne Bubble thanks you for the Buzz. Looking forward to 2008 (Think: Lindsey Lohan. Off. Wagon.)