Superbowl Weekend: By the Numbers

Hell yeah Superbowl! What an awesome game/awesome weekend. It's nice to finally see a decent Superbowl, hasn't happened in awhile. Remember last year? The only good thing about the game last year was that the douche bag I was dating at the time actually cried when Chicago lost. What a bitch......but I digress. Minus the fact that Eli Manning now has a Superbowl ring (I couldn't write that sentence without choking) and Superbowl MVP title, the game was sweet. Onward.

Thought I'd break down the weekend in numerical formula, because really, what's not fun about math?

Number of times someone at the Party I was at said the words "Eli" and "what a bitch" in the same sentence- 489

Time when the party collectively stopped calling Strahan by his name and just started calling him Gappy- 9:05 into the 1st quarter

Number of times I said "why the fuck is _________ there?" when Seacrest was interviewing people on the red carpet (don't even get me started on the whole red carpet thing)- 12

Number of Patron Silver shots I chased down with Ketel One and sodas- 5.....excellent idea

Number of times I peed my pants laughing during Paula Abdul's "comeback" (ahem) performance- 3

Number of fake boobs I grabbed this weekend- 1 (that would be one boob, not one set of boobs)

Number of people with fake boobs who grabbed my real boob- 1 (yay vodka!)

Number of dudes I made out with on Saturday night- 2

Number of straight chicks who said they'd rather have a threesome with Britney and Osama Lutfi on a her hospital bed covered in Cheetos than have sex with Eli Manning- 4

Number of straight girls who preferred Eli- 0

Number of times I wished someone would smack Terry Bradshaw upside the head with the Vince Lombardi trophy- at least 7

Number of dirty thoughts had about Tom Brady, me in my high school cheer leading uniform, and baby oil- 27

Number of times someone mentioned that Alicia Keyes really didn't need to use the ENTIRE zebra to make those pants- 1

Number of times I got sprayed by someone attempting to shot-gun a beer-2 (we're a little out of practice apparently)

Number of days until the Niners win Superbowl XLIII- 364