Apparently I'm kind of a perv. I've always kind of known this, but sometimes you just hit new pervy lows. Today was one of those days. For those of you who know me, I'm sure this is hardly a shock. For those of you who don't know me and just read my blog, it's probably less of a shock. For all you other pervs out there, here's a little voyeur into my pervert-i-ness:
Gene Simmons has a sex tape- Not my problem, right? I'm not the girl in it. What is my problem, you ask? Well, I tried to watch it. For reals. It gets worse. I was a little too upset when the website didn't come up. Who in their bloody right mind wants to watch Gene Simmons have sex? I'm a perv.
Sexual acts in moving vehicles are awesome- Not too pervy. A lot of people might agree with that. My problem? Sexual acts in moving vehicles on city streets are also acceptable. Worse ? Sexual acts in moving vehicles on city streets in broad daylight are also acceptable. I'm a perv.
I find Simon Cowell sexually attractive. I'm a perv.
I probably would go to the Donkey Show just to say I went. I'm a perv. (Disclaimer: No matter how much of a perv I am, I can say with total certainty that I would not enjoy The Donkey Show. I just said I'd go).
I've taken over 10 girls to buy their first vibrator. Getting a couple other chicks to make this purchase is kind of hot. Being enthused to take over a dozen chicks to the sex shop is kind of pervy. I'm on the fence.
I actually own the Pam and Tommy Lee sex tape. Who actually owns it? Do you know how expensive DVD porn is? (if you answered yes, you might be a perv). But seriously, no one buys it. Everyone just watches it online. I'm a perv.
Episodes of Nip/Tuck that don't involve Dr. Christian Troy bending some chick over something are just not worth it. I'm a perv.
Sex tapes I can not wait for- Spencer and Heidi, Tara Reid, Gavin Newsom, Myley Cyrus, Tom Brady (with anyone. Seriously, even another dude), John McCain (dude, I know he has one. His wife's s freak fo sho), La Lohan, Kim Kardashian Part II, Dame Judi Dench, Nick Swisher, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson, anyone from the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. I'm a Perv.
Being a perv is kind of like being an alcoholic who perpetually falls off the wagon. Step 1, admit you have a problem Step 2, decide to do something about it. Step 3, fall off the wagon. Step 4, become even pervy-er. Step 5, back on the wagon. Step 6, fall off in Tiajuana and go to the Donkey Show.
Peace Out.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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1 comments:
I guess I am a perv too. I agree with everything except the Simon Cowell comment.....he's gay. I do love the Nip/Tuck scenes and am sad that the season is over. I am looking forward to Season 2 of Dirt though. I mean, a girl that masterbates so much that she can't cum during sex with a man....so much truth to that. I am still waiting for the Angelina and her brother sex tape....you know it's out there. How about " Tinkerball gets Gangbanged by Bit-Bit and friends" next E! True Hollywood Story.(only if you read US weekly religously would you know who Tinkerball and Bit-Bit were.)
Am I a perv that I find the scene with Jake and Heath(R.I.P) from Brokeback Mountain HOT?
Anyways, it's raining in San Diego and thanks for brightning my day with talk of pervs...you're the best.
-kamie
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