Thursday, April 3, 2008

Return of the Mack

The hiatus is over. I'm back and it's gonna get ugly. Though I admit I have to ease into the ugliness. I feel like a virgin again. Except this time around I'm drunk off Ketel One rather than 2 Mickey's 40oz, and I don't care if the entire football team knows I did this on Monday. God, high school was great, but I digress.

I've been trying to figure out why I've been so unmotivated to blog. Britney's been behaving, no one from the Disney Channel has gotten knocked up lately, the Lindsey Lohan AND Kristin Davis sex tapes were fakes.... Any one of these things could be the culprit. I lost my spirit, but it's back bitch, and I've decided to go balls to the wall. I am now in a committed relationship with.....well.....I guess myself, since I'm pretty sure no one reads the Bubble anymore, but I've been in a committed relationship with my vibrators for awhile now, and that shit is going great.

A short list of things that have perked my interest lately:
  • March Madness- I'm getting fucked harder than Lindsey Lohan in rehab in both my pools, but damnit I still love it. We've had basketball on at work, I at least had the pleasure of beating my boss in the office pool, and it gives me something to watch other than reruns of Rock of Love and Flavor of Love 3.
  • Coral punking EVERYONE on the Gauntlet 3. Fuck all y'all. They tried to punk her out and she straight donkey punched their asses. Priceless. P.S. Fuck you Ev and CT. You two are the biggest butt plugs in the bath house.
  • Heidi Montag endorsing John McCain for President. Oh it gets better, John McCain acknowledging that Heidi Montag endorsed him and thanking her. I'm conflicted here. John McCain telling the American public that he watches The Hills vs. John McCain telling the American public that he watches the Hills. If Justin Bobby endorses anyone, I'm there. Seriously.
  • Client 9
A short list of things that have made me self medicate lately:
  • The never ending talk of recessions at work. I'm now in a little bit of a fluff industry, and the shmuck with my job goes first. Note: I said fluff industry, not fluffer industry.....but if times get tough, who knows.
  • The Boston Red Sox. Fuck you. Fuck you Manny. Fuck you Ortiz, Fuck you Varitek. Fuck all ya'll. Go back to the East side and have a fucking tea party. Fuck.
  • No more Client 9 stories
  • George W. Bush: Helping people with IQ's over 70 self medicate for 8 years now. Some things never change.

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